Ask Brady

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Dear Brady: Look... I have this chick right? Oh, and man is she fine. And the things she would do for me, unbelievable!!! But... The problem is, she likes to lift weights. And let me just mention, I am not the biggest guy on campus. So, when we fool around she kind of just tosses me around in the bed and slaps my face yelling: "who's your B@*#H"!!!??? It's embarrasing. And it's like that no matter what we are doing. When we are at the movies she has me in a half headlock thing where she has her arm around my neck to show everyone that I'm her B@*#H. Or if we are in public at the mall walking around she will just grab me between the legs and start yelling: "whos is this"!!!??? And she won't let go till I say: "It's yours". The only thing I can take command in is thumb wrestling, which I can only BARELY beat her at that. It's humiliating. Please help!!! How can I control my woman and show her REALLY who the boss is for a change? Thanks Brady. - Big Daddy (I wish)

Big Daddy ? Hmm, that name sounds familiar. I'm sure it'll come to me. Anyway... I'm gonna forget my usual speaches about stepping up, being a man and controling your woman and all that, for one reason and one reason only. Big Daddy, from the sound of it, you got one crazy b**ch there. Certified, know what I'm sayin. Honestly, the only real advice I can give you is to run the hell away. That's right, Ole' Brady's sayin get the f**k out of dodge. Crazy b**ches scare me. And listen, I'm not talking about moving and changing your phone number. No sir, I mean disappear Julia Roberts style. You ever see that movie, "Sleeping With the Enemy"? That's what I'm sayin, fake your own death and s**t. Also, don't let anyone know where you are, because she'll mak'em talk. Then she'll find you, and own your balls again. Then you'd have to off her, and that would be a whole new mess. So, Big Daddy, please, for your's, her's, and everyone else's own good... time to disappear. - Brady

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